Failing to Plan is planning to fail

In my life, the journey of self-development, although a great passion of mine, has happened rather haphazardly on the whole. When I look back on my road less travelled it seems to be a string of inspirational seminars and enigmatic, awe-inspiring speakers and not much real ACTION. The action I did take in the years before I got to this work where a bit of a mish-mash of what appealed to me at that time or whatever was the trend-du-jour of the motivational speaker circuit. Alot of searching, alot of finding other people's answers but not so much getting to the very root of my own.

Initially when I got hold of the Demartini Work that did not change much. This often surprises me in retrospect as I always thought that if I found something that really worked for me I would "most certainly, absolutely, for sure" take action every single day. I am sure there are many of you that walked out of your first Breakthrough experience brimming with (slightly over-inflated) enthusiasm and a big bag of tasty illusions on how you would "definitely do a line everyday" - Awww, the splendid naiviety of youth ( I was the WORST one, lol). It baffles me so much as I had such profound spiritual, mental and physical healing experiences at the Breakthrough that it just seems unbelievable that I couldn't find the time (or rather wouldn't ) to make this part of every single day.

The thing missing of course was : A Structure - the map to transformation

or "All dressed up and nowhere to go" as Carrie Bradshaw would say.

So many times in the world of self-actualization and self-development you hear people talking about "being on the path" or even" finding their path", but no one ever seems to consider that finding any path of any kind without a map - is like looking for a needle in a haystack. It would only make sense that if you have spent most of your life looking for a path that you are supposedly meant to be on, maybe its time to give up randomly walking around and getting upset at not "finding" the path and do the clever thing ......get a map!

Winston Churchill declared in World War 2: " He who fails to plan is planning to fail". I am sure that although the connection between planning a war and planning your life is somewhat blurry, my internal state of mind has more often than not shown remarkable similarities to war zones and battlefields in the throes of trying to make sense of my world. There is an inherent structure to getting from A- to- B, whether that aim is defeating the Nazi's or getting your life and mind into a state of balance and gratitude - you need to have a plan, a structure a reference point.

Getting a plan from beginning to end relies on the interaction of following

INSPIRATION **REASON**PLAN**MENTOR**PEER GROUP**PRACTICE**DAILY ACTION

Although that seems as if its a long list of "what to do", it is a very finely tuned highly evolved,carefully researched blueprint that is used daily all the way from investment banking to high performance althetic coaching. So often in self development we fall into a place of "going with the flow" that can easily turn into "going around in circles". Failing to plan is planning to fail or in self-development terms you are just more likely to get stuck in over-thinking and alot of not-doing much about it. So often I hear "But, I have done so much work on this already"

which really means that you have done an enormous amount of thinking about it, but in all fairness probably have not had access to the appropriate tools to move your mind from analysis to gratitude, and transforming your understanding to love and balance.

INSPIRATION

Find what inspires you:)! Music, Art, dance, meditation - whatever it is for you. One of my inspirations is Dr Demartini and as such I often listen to his cd's and dvd's to get me all fired up for working on myself. Especially his book " the heart of love" is my constant bed-side companion to keep my mind engaged in seeing through the illusion of one-sided duality.

REASON

Dr Demartini often speaks about when you do what you love you are inspired, to do what you do not love yet you need outside motivation. This motivation exactly that, about WHY ? you want to work on yourself - your reason. Before I do any sort of collapse/demartini work, a do a little mini-list of the benefits of doing work on myself and how that would directly feed my top values. Lets face it, if you were constantly aware of the benefits of doing any work, no one on the outside or you yourself on the inside would need to motivate you .... it would just flow, the reason would be obvious.

PLAN

The 7 P's - have you heard of them? the old military adage:

Proper Prior Planning Prevents Poor Piss Performance - isn't it brilliant, and who said people in the army had no sense of humor. Just like Winston Churchill's call to plan, it is best advised to have a good aim in order to ensure a successful shot. Part of a good plan involves the following questions:

1) Where am I? - take stock

2) Where do I want to go? - take aim

3) How do I get there? - take action

Of course in terms of self-development that can be a little less obvious that aiming and shooting a gun, but considering that we have all been with our mind, feelings and thoughts all our lives, you would be amazed at how quickly you can turn aimless running around in your head into focused, purposeful action.

MENTOR ( or coach)

One of the most fascinating aspects of the human mind to me is self-deception, also called denial. I am sure we have all been there before;)nudge nudge, wink wink. Our minds are fantastically complicating things that have capabilities beyond our wildest dreams. Part of its impressive bag of tricks is thinking, analysis, decoding, connecting, intuiting, imagining and also just plain straightforward lying to yourself. Whenever your mind perceives a change bringing with it less benefits than drawbacks (just a preception of course), an elaborate scheme will be constructed in order to prevent change - after all your mind has one primal primary mission - to keep you safe and do what is beneficial to you, ie survival.

A Mentor or Coach can be invaluable in this journey of growth, often marred by set-backs and confusion. A mentor keeps you going, raises the bar when you play safe, inspires you to grow, empowers you to reach higher and most importantly, keeps it real and in perspective. Particularly in times of great confusion when "you can see the wood for the trees" anymore, your mentor is there to help you pick yourself up, dust yourself off, get back on the bike and for a little while install a pair of training wheels on your super sonic speed racer.

PEER GROUP

We are essentially pack animal, lovely ones that be. I am sure you have noticed how more often than not your big charges come from people in your life rather than a flower or a glass. Our interactions with others are the juice that keep our buttons flowing, or rather keeps them pushed. Likewise interaction with others of a similar mind-set or experience can be hugely helpful in navigating the storms of your imbalanced thinking. We are all reflections of each other and just as in the last exercise or Step 9 we do after a full Demartini method when we chose someone to represent the person we did the collapse on, there are no mistakes in who is in front of you. Whoever is in front of you is your reflection, whatever is going on for them has relevance to you and your life.

Whether it is setting up your own group, following a local Demartini Study group or keeping abreast lectures, workshops and seminars, keeping in touch with others doing this work will pay infinite dividends in giving insights into yourself as well as walking in their shoes. Each one of us has every trait and whatever I perceive to exist in another person also exists in me - just in a form I have not loved to see yet.

PRACTICE

Doing the Demartini work is like building and flexing the ability of your mind to perceive any situation, person or yourself in balance. The art of seeing benefits and equal simultaneous drawbacks in every situation is a habit that can be learned by anyone, but requires practice through dedicated application. It works if you work it and it works really well if you work it alot - simples.

DAILY ACTION

I am sure you remember the exercise in the Breakthrough experience manual that instructs you to identify which daily actions would have the greatest impact in moving you closer to your goals and giving you a clearer view on what you would love to do most. Of course this exercise is designed to get you more in line with what you would most like to "be", "do" and "have" in your life, but it also has surprising applications and benefits in developing a more balance approach to life, to work and your relationships .If your aim is to use the Demartini work regularly to enable you to see the balance and perfection in your life and the life of others, Ask yourself this:

WHAT daily action could I take (remember to start small, an attainable goal) that would be most beneficial to me staying committed, staying inspired and staying motivated to my goal of balanced thinking and perception.

And remember above all, you are not alone - we are all in this together. If you feel that it is a struggle, find out where it is not a struggle and use the resources and support that are at hand in the form of Trained and Certified Demartini Facilitators - we are here to support you for your highest growth and most optimal learning. WE ARE HERE TO SERVE YOU.

Where to start? A roadmap to life after Breakthrough

Well done, you have just survived one of the most exhilarating and trying experiences of your life, you have completed the two days of THE BREAKTHROUGH EXPERIENCE with Dr John Demartini. How do you feel? What changed? Anything particular happen in the week after BTE?

Watching the attendees of the last Breakthrough experience leave the auditorium of the Copthorne Tara Hotel in Kensington on sunday evening reminded me of that bewilderingly fascinating experience ... my very first Breakthrough.

Let me first say this; no Breakthrough Experience is the same, every time you attend something will have shifted from before and as such you are attending in essence "same but different". There will be new buttons, new challenges, old challenges in new form, your goals may have shifted, your values may have shifted, the list is truly endless. And thats just the collapses you do on others ... by your second or third Breakthrough you may be ready to go for doing the quantum collapse process on yourself - a truly mind-altering, thought bending, perceptive balancing experience ( you'd be surprised how much you never knew about yourself, and thats excluding the stuff you aren't willing to admit to anyone). Each time you hear Dr Demartini different topics will jump out at you, different people will be drawn to you in the last step and you will be chosen as a reflection by different people - giving you even deeper insights into the magnificence of you life.

There is NO such thing as "I'm done", this journey has no end destination - a new set of polarities will emerge after each moment of balance is perceived. Tthere is always more to learn, new things to discover about you and the people in your life and the complex perfection of all those connections. Sound exhausting???? it just goes on and on and on and on ... lol, thats exactly what I thought. Here is the good news:):) this isn't a race, there is no prize for coming first, besides.... you are the only person in the running. The part of universal law that still tickles me every time is when I hear someone say " I have come off the path ... I need to get back on it" ....There is NO such thing as not on the path, so even if you think you are "off" the path or not "on track" you are actually always in the perfect place ... no matter what, you cannot get it wrong.

Wait, don't wait. be nice, don't be nice, be mean, don't be mean ... do whatever you like because no matter where when or how, the universe is always there balancing you or any given situation out. Even if you choose not to see the balance in a given person or situation, your faithful friend the universe will always serve you up the same dish of learning in a multitude of different ways. Even if you think that for example you are in a very difficult/challenging relationship you absolutely have to collapse it otherwise the karmic God of thunder and lightning will zap you.... the next relationship will do just fine. Leave, don't leave - either way learning will come your way.

In truth, there is no such thing as missing the train to enlightenment and if life was like one of those 70's game shows where a passing conveyor belt of items had to be remembered and recounted in perfect order for prizes, the conveyor belt of your life would most likely resemble one of those airport luggage stands ... where the same suitcase comes by again and again and again. I can just imagine instead of toaster, a set of dishes, coffee maker, umbrella, soft toy ... it would probably sound like this: boundaries, expecting others to live according to our values, perceiving one-sided illusions about more challenge than support ... and the same over and over and over. This really does give new meaning to the old saying "Same shit, different day" ... but of course SHIT being S-piritually H-armonizing I-ntelligent T-ruth as Dr Demartini explains on many of his colorful seminars.

So now for the practical stuff, because it only really works if you work it .. much like watching exercise videos doesn't actually make you fit, unless you actually do it every day to build muscle and increase metabolism. I like to think of building the muscle of your mind and the metabolism being the speed at which your system can make the connections: i.e: see the benefits, drawback, etc.

Of course different methods suit different people and everyone really has their own style of integrating this work into their life. I tried a couple of different strategies and for me I need something to remind me about balance and perception last thing at night and first thing in the morning. If I just jump up or drift off, "life" or what I like to call autopilot sets in and all over a sudden someone finishing the last piece of toilet paper or not buying new milk seems to take on mammoth armageddon like significance.

I experimented with this first thing in the morning and last thing at night with a journal, meditation, books etc and the best way it works for me is this. During the day I keep a watch out for things that push me, nudge me or just simply annoy me. I used to write them down but now thanks to my new phone i just voice record it - I also assign a value to it 1-5, 1 being so so and 5 being steam coming from my ears mad. In the evening I then quickly journal or do a lil line on it. Just before I fall asleep, instead of counting sheep I just say a quiet thank you list of all the things I appreciated in the past day. Next morning (depending on time and inclination) I either read a bit of one of Dr D's books or continue the line started the night before. Before I jump out of best I quickly look at my mission statement, zip zap .. ready to take on the day. I am talking no more than 10 minutes am and pm and sometimes not even that, sometimes its just a "thank you, I love you" or a quick visualization of the day ahead. I'm fairly flexible with this, but just making that small commitment is a phenomenal way to start off you practice of balanced perception living.

Because I am such a people person, I have found that I seem to stick with habits longer if they involve interactions with other of a similar inclination. If you are in London, the London Demartini Study group meets once a month and hosts a different facilitator each time presenting a different topic, taking your understanding of the work deeper and deeper.

The London Demartini Collapse Club is all about doing the work and keeping you working. Each month we tackle a different topic slowly (but surely) chipping away at the blocks to balancs.

Through Stighlitz or the Demartini Institute in South Africa you can find out about facilitators in your area of perhaps you already met a facilitator who is able to coach you/answer your questions via skype or phone.

In my opinion ( and it is just my opinion that suits my values) I like the following strategy

1) 1-2-1 coaching for those "stubborn stains", persons or situations that REALLY bug you or that you have tried and tried to deal with.

2) Workshops: I personally present the following range of topics... these look at the various areas in much more detail and you have more time to really get to understand and work on the exercises:

• Transformation workshop - a mini version of your past weekend, a breakthrough opportunity in itself.
• The power of values - the hierarchy of your values dictates your life and as such this workshop is a key building block to all that underlies communicating with other and understanding yourself.
• Nothing is Missing - where we deal with grief, loss or simply a perception of not enough, whatever that may be
• Relationships - Understanding why this area of life is such a minefield of misunderstanding. In this workshop we look at understanding as well and building relationships.
• Finding you inner Balance - continuing the Motor-sensory exercise from the Breakthough Experience where we identify specific memories during the spread of our life and looking at exactly where and how balance ie: challenge and support presented itself. This exercise is particularly useful in moving forward in your life, especially if fear, depression or doubt has held you back.

3) Find out how YOU want to be connected with this work and how it can gently remind and nudge you in the direction of balanced perception thinking. Do you work better alone, in a group, do you need to set aside a particular time in a week to do your lines etc. It has to fit YOUR life to be truly sustainable.

This particular quote is a great reminder of how important it is to KEEP AT IT at whatever pace is right for you:)

"The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results" Albert Einstein

Happy collapsing

xoxo

S