"But I thought I was helping her!!"

The downside of "rescuing"

Now I am the first one to admit that I do a bit of rescuing, although much less now than before. What has changed you ask? Well, that crafty side A of the Method on yourself can have the tremendous benefit of taking your head out of the clouds, thinking that some of the things you like about your character only come with "positive" consequences.

So there I was, somewhat obliviously living a slightly rose-tinted (okay, massively rose-tinted) existence of thinking that when I help/assist/encourage/rescue people .... the world becomes a better place and they live happily ever after. This one was a stinker for me :( I just didn't want to see it initially, my brain folded its arms and gave me that "you're certainly not going to convince me of that one"- look.

So rather than collapse it all in one go, I decided to chip at it one fossilized paradigm chunk at a time. I thought to myself, " ..hang on, there is no rule that says as soon as you find a character trait you have to collapse it. If this universe is really on my side and all its trying to do is to equilibrate my unloved, unbalanced perceptions; I am going to sit back, relax, have an open mind and let the universe show me." Somehow, I can't be quite sure, I thought I heard someone say " Well, miss smartypants, that's what I have been trying to do all along" right at that moment .... but I am sure it was just the wind:)

So little by little, day by day it shows up in many different forms and people around me. The one I want to share with you though is very striking so I thought It would be a good example. Here goes:

Quite some time ago I started to employ someone to help with my housework so that I could spend more time focusing on studies and facilitating transformation and as such I have been trying out different ladies from the same cleaning agency. One of the things I took away from Dr D's Prophecy day on business, was to hire only people who have a passion for what they do. So of course, once this particular individual walked through my door and declared that she is obsessed with cleaning, loves my cat, snuggles my dog and really likes cleaning my house - we had a dead fit. Naturally I started to fall into my old patterns, especially when people hit my value system on the nose, my maternal instinct kicks in. Things only really got out of hand when one day she gave me the biggest hug and said that she was so very happy working for me, my rescuing trait snuck in before I spotted it (little trickster). You can almost imagine what comes now: I help her with her English (alot), we become good friends, I make phone calls for her to help organize logistical stuff and admin, I explain the ins and outs of living in London, etc... the list just goes on.

One day I suddenly catch myself making a list in my head about all the things I am going to help her with. To my absolute surprise tho, a new thinking pattern arises reminding me " well, you can be absolutely sure there is someone in her life doing the opposite". Yikes, gulp... OK, I hadn't thought of that.

"doing all this stuff for her not looking so hot now sister" (don't ask me why the universe started talking like Whoopi Goldberg all over a sudden ?*perplexing really).

If minds could sulk, mine would have at that moment, but still with the gait of a petulant child it started the steep walk down from the top of the infatuation pedestal.

Being human and trust me I do a great job of that one, I still find it hard to believe things I cannot see, smell or touch, the thought of " Well, how exactly does it not benefit her??? explain that one to me" kept eroding my concentration like well formed fungus to heavily matured cheese. I couldn't exactly walk up to her and ask who exactly was being unhelpful in her life or even more vector specific, whose house was she cleaning who was less than encouraging or had a house she didn't like cleaning???? The tenacious terrier in me had gotten scent of the universe in equilibrium and was unlikely to give up the hunt for evidence.

You wouldn't believe this, but the next time she came around, I had just made her a cup of tea ( its an English thing we make tea for everything) when I turned to her to say " Who ..." , she interrupted me and said " I am so sorry for being so stressed last week when you were being so nice to me". My sniffer nose twitching in anticipation I said " Go on..." and balance unfolded before my eyes.

Apparently the week prior, on the same day that I was letting my little rescuing gremlin run a little riot, she had gotten a new house to clean. Although the agency had told her the house was in a lovely area and that the lady had 3 lovely children and a pretty little doggie - she turned up to a hostile neighbourhood, an absolutely filthy apartment, 3 children who threw food everywhere, a pit-bull who tried to hump her leg insistently and rather unwelcoming new employer who treated her like a servant. Her eyes welled up as she described cleaning an oven an inch thick with grease while a little tiny mouse made a dash across the kitchen floor.

Just as I was about to run for a tissue to catch her tears, she grabbed my hand and said " At least I know I have you on a Wednesday before I have to clean there ..... that way its bearable". And then I couldn't help myself and the tears started down my cheeks too, not because of guilt for co-creating this, not because of sympathy but instead heart wide open knowing that she had all the challenge and support she needed and just sheer awe of the Grand Organised Design.

The universe is always in balance.. whether you choose to see it or not, its always there in perfect equilibrium. It is our challenge to live it eyes wide open and a heart that's ready to see.

Happy collapsing:)